So, I have four documents at the bottom of my computer screen that have been there for over a week. And they all have the name of a community college near Seattle as part of their title. And now I hate that college, because seeing them at the bottom of my screen, their little unfinished document faces telling me how much I suck, is making me want to pretend I never even started them in the first place.
And how do I combat this? I just opened *another* document and started making a list of things that might go in one of the other docs! There are literally ideas nested in ideas at this point!
Ahhh!
Because I'm in a weird transition state right now--no job, new city in a new home on Monday, new roommates--I am finding some security and comfort in the oddest places. Namely, my cat, who I walked in on yesterday creating a nest out of packing materials.
No, your eyes do not deceive you; there is, in fact, a Haggen bag being used as bedding in that picture. Perhaps this is some witty commentary on our move, but I doubt that. She was less than thrilled that I woke her up with my camera flashing.
So there it is, my last (rambly) words from Bellingham--the town where I've had my most insane self-doubts, biggest successes, and longest stretches without sleeping. I'm not sure how I will cope with being far away from those who remain here, but hopefully I will make my own little trash pile of happiness down in Seattle.
It's really bizarre to watch the things you used to share with someone -- the stuff that made up their identity, and, for a while, your shared identity -- become part of someone new's identity.
I don't mean this in an woe-is-me, missing-an-ex kind of way. I'm best friends with an ex boyfriend of many years. Just remarking on how...odd, and easily accessible an ex's new relationship is when it's on Facebook.
It's almost funny, to see them slip into the same patterns, or to slowly share the same parts of themselves over time. Makes me wonder how well Facebook, etc, are documenting all of our lives.
Wonder what, say, your FB/Twitter statuses could say about how you are in relationships?
In my awesome graduate-level pedagogy course (or “touchy feely teaching class,” as some of my classmates and colleagues have deemed it), we have discussed the value of posing “essential questions” to our students and to ourselves at the onset of a new quarter. I mentioned to my small group last week that I wish I could focus my teaching enough to have essential questions for each week of my English 101 course; this was met with mixed responses, since I guess it could get a little overwhelming at times. But wouldn’t it be nice to know each week exactly what was on your mental plate?
I’ve created some essential questions for my weekend—things I’m pondering at the moment:
1. How can I, an almost-24 woman, tell a guy (or anyone) I like his/her shirt without being told that I’m hitting on that person? I was in Miller Market, the currently-mobilized quick-stop food location near the Humanities building*, the other day when I saw an undergrad wearing a tshirt for a video game I like. It featured incredibly easy to spot images from the game’s cover art, and I instantly wanted to tell him I thought it was awesome. No harm, no lustful thoughts—just niceness! Because I like to be told nice things by strangers, and I assume others do, too.
As I was walking out with my overpriced pb&j, I said “I like your shirt” with a benign smile. This is when Chris, who was on this excursion with me, said something to effect of “hitting on random dudes?” Now, Chris and I are extremely critical of each other, so I took it with a grain of salt, but I, in my awful high-pitched voice that I slip into when being defensive, squealed that it was in NO way a gesture of attraction. Just pleasantries. I need others’ opinions on this…can someone compliment another person’s shirt in passing without it being indicative of some seedy subtext?
2. Why do I love the screaming, damned-souls-of-hell noise the produce section sprinklers make at Haggen? Seriously, it sounds like something from a bad movie. I will take extra time to peruse and poke the avocados in hopes of hearing that terrifying noise. I always laugh a little, but the very serious shoppers never join me.
3. Why does the church on Cornwall have “SHOW ME STATE” on their announcement board outside? For non-Missourians, this is the unofficial** state motto of Missouri. I would get it if there was some clever-ish connection to religion… “SHOW ME JESUS” or something. Well, I guess that wasn’t clever. But what could is possibly mean? Maybe cryptic messages are part of some plan to get more people talking about their church. Hmm…
4. How are cats so bad-ass? Luna just spent the last 30 minutes head-bobbingly following some bug around the room. A minute ago, she flew across my keyboard (I erased the “xxlsssksgjlkllll” that she wrote you all) and caught a mosquito! I was proud of her until she ate it. But she’s still very pleased with herself and laying at my feet staring at the spot where it met its doom.
5. Why am I so in love with the unnecessary tea cups I bought? (featured above)
So, my question to you all is: What are your essential questions for this weekend? Or for this upcoming week? Or for today?
*for my non-WWU friends
**I swear every child in MO is told this is the “official” motto. But Wikipedia claims it’s unofficial. Learn something new every day.
I have nothing insightful to write. Just noting how difficult it is to pack for a trip when the minute you pull the suitcase out, it has an inhabitant.
Perhaps this is some form of protest.
Off to St. Louis to present at the National Pop Culture Association Conference!
On a day when I’ve done little more than complain, I thought it might be nice to stop for a minute to write a…contemplative post. I was going to say “happier” post, but I don’t want to have to revise my claim once I’ve completed this; another instance of teaching one thing and practicing the other, I guess.
Luna is busy in a corner by her bed nosing at something, which I assume means there is an insanely large, ferocious spider crawling around my baseboards. It’s actually quite near my friend’s present that I have yet to give her, so she may have a spider trapeze onto her upon opening it. Happy birthday, indeed!
Okay, okay, happier note: I came home frustrated and overwhelmed after a day of working non-stop without any major results and unearthed some tea that I'd forgotten I owned. It, in combination with my beloved Corningware kettle—a gesture toward the one my parents have had for years—and my newly retrieved, hand-painted mug(!) looked a bit too darling next to my new colander, so I had to take a picture. As my mom, or someone, has said my entire life, “It’s the small things that count,” and today this little moment is worth more than I can imagine.
The spider seems to have fled to the bookshelf. Back to work!
This picture just made me laugh. Luna has been stealing my blankets. I kicked her out so I could sleep warmly, and this is the yawning/threatening face I got. Also, this pretty much sums up the quarter so far. I feel...lethargic.
Also, it should be noted that my mother got my cat -- yes, my cat -- a stocking this year.
